Holidays

December 20, 2010 at 4:35 pm (Uncategorized)

Today is not a good day.

It started yesterday, really.  I went Christmas shopping.  I see snowmen everywhere I go.  I pick them up and think “oh, mom would like this one” and remember that I am not buying you something this year.  Again.

Kids are starting to get upset again as well.  Makes it harder on me because I don’t know what to tell them.  And sometimes Im not strong enough to tell them anything.

I hope you are doing well up there.  I miss you horribly.  Now more than ever.  I love you mom.

 

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Its a difficult day

December 1, 2010 at 4:40 pm (Uncategorized)

I don’t know if its the holidays coming up that is making me feel this way or what but I am really missing you today.  So much it hurts…….

I still wonder why you did what you did?  Why you left us here with no one.  The kids are going to wake up on Christmas morning alone when you used to be there.  They have no family other than myself that really cares for them like you did.  I am so mad that you took that away from them.

I bought the kids necklaces…..they carry your ashes with them close to their heart.  Sometimes that’s not enough though.  I want you here.

I hope you have found some peace, because right now you are causing some major turmoil inside of me.

I miss you mom.  More than words can say………

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