Kindergarten

August 19, 2010 at 1:19 pm (Uncategorized)

Hey there,

My baby….our baby….starts kindergarten on Monday.  Today we get to meet her teacher.  She is SOOOO excited.

She misses you a lot.  A WHOLE LOT.  She has nightmares, she talks about you all the time, she wants you here.  We all do.

I try to be strong for her, I try to hold her and comfort her.  I try to let her talk to me about you and I try to be strong.  But the whole time she is suffering, I suffer with her.  I want to take the pain away, I want to hold onto it so she doesn’t have to.

We are getting necklaces to put your ashes in so she will always be with you, and you will always be in our hearts.

I miss you terribly.  I miss you more than you will ever know.

Today is not a good day.

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The Silver Lining

August 3, 2010 at 1:14 pm (Uncategorized)

Hey there mom…

The days get harder then they get easier, then wham, Im robbed and my laptop stolen. The one that had my pictures of you. The pictures of when we went to “Heaven on a Hill” as Emma calls it and spread your ashes with Granny and Grandad. They are gone. I feel as if you were taken away from me again, except this time it wasn’t your fault.

Dad just came to visit. It was weird hearing him say “no Im a widower” when asked if he was married. Technically he is a widower but hell, you haven’t been “married” for 17 years. Just weird.

I went to see Steve Miller Band/Peter Frampton on Friday night. Normally I would have asked you and Rudy to go, especially because it was his birthday. But..not only are you gone, I haven’t talked to him much since he moved. Yup, he left me too.

Took Dad to the train station and it was the hardest yet. I didn’t want him to go. But I am glad he saw what I went through, what I go through. I miss him though. Plus the kids and I aren’t sleeping well…me more then them (not sleeping) since he has been gone. I sleep with a bat. That’s crazy.

Anyway, just wanted to check in. I miss you and actually picked up the phone yesterday to call you to tell you I got a raise, finally. But, you aren’t around.

I love you.

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