Mother’s Day

May 10, 2010 at 3:09 pm (Uncategorized)

I thought that I would have a hard day. As much as I cried at the drop of a hat the whole weekend, it ended up being easier than I thought.

Saturday I woke up crying all morning. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to do anything but be able to come down to your house and give you a hug. Instead, I packed an outfit (literally that is all I brought). I packed the dog up. I put lots of food and water out for Daisy and I drove to Alabama.

I cried the whole way. Off and on, but most of the trip. I didn’t want to be alone. The past few weeks have definitely worried me. I was worried about myself. I was (and still am but feeling much better) overwhelmed with life and death. I didn’t know which way was up and which way was down. I cried every night while trying to be strong for the kids. I cried every day while trying to be strong at work. I wanted to reach out to people but I didn’t know where to turn.

I got to Alabama and it was like a whole cloud was lifted off me. I laughed like I haven’t laughed in a long time. I silently cried, but the tears were the realization that I needed to be there. I enjoyed my weekend. The weekend I thought I was going to lay in bed the whole time. I needed to be where I was.

I missed you. I didn’t even wish you a Happy Mother’s Day like I wanted to because I wanted to wait for the kids. We will let the balloons go tonite after we write on them. But yesterday, I made it about me. I did everything I did for me.

Happy Mother’s Day mom! I miss you more each day and love you.

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