It’s been awhile….

May 4, 2010 at 3:28 pm (Uncategorized)

Mom,

It’s been awhile since I sat down here to talk to you.  My computer is broke at home, but I am also dealing with some emotions.  There are days where I am really mad at you.  There are days that I am really sad for you.  There are days that I need you really bad.

I just had a friend pass away.  He was young but drank too  much and his body couldn’t handle anymore.  I went to the “Irish Wake” for him on Saturday and it brought a bunch of emotions out.  I wasn’t sure if I could handle it or not.

Today, I had a breakdown.  I cried.  I cried because I’m tired.  I cried because I don’t like my job.  I cried because I am the only constant in my childrens lives.  I cried because their father is an ass.  I cried because I have the world on my shoulders and its getting very heavy.  I cried because people think I should be doing things differently then I am.

Most of all, I cried because you left me alone and now I can’t handle my life like I used to.

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